Rachel Gorman: Pass
In both mainstream and disability culture audiences, people often think of me as a non-disabled dancer who choreographs for disabled artists. I sometimes believe this myself, even though I struggle with memory, mood, and focus when I work in the studio. When I was invited to perform as solo artist at Balancing Acts 8, I decided to think about disability and dance in a new way. Mixed-ability dance is important because it challenges and expands ideas about physical ‘ableness’ in many traditional and modern dance forms. As a physically ‘able’ dancer, I have different reasons for wanting to use dance to challenge disability oppression. I was diagnosed when I was four because people thought I moved in ways that were excessive and inappropriate. I am disabled because I move too much and too easily.

Structured improvisation is based on the idea that a dancer can learn move in a way that is ‘authentic’ or natural for her. I am going to improvise in this piece because I want to ask questions about authentic movement. What is authentic movement for disabled people if we have gone through training, therapy, or punishment to change the way we move? While I am dancing, there will be a projection of me on the back of the stage. She represents me when I am out of my body. The music is beautiful and scary because it has unusual timing and sounds. It reminds me of horror movies about bad children. I think many children diagnosed with ‘behaviour problems’ feel like monsters. The three short recordings of my voice each represent a moment in my childhood when I believed I was different and bad.

Presented as part of Bold. Brash. Beautiful:  The Balancing Acts Commissioning Project.

Performances
December 5, 2008
December 6, 2008

Venue
Big Secret Theatre